 
Helping your parents move can be a huge undertaking. This is because being available to them while meeting your own responsibilities often requires a juggling act.
One of the balls labeled, I Care flies into the air and shows that you want to help and support your parents in every way possible.
As it tumbles down, another ball called, I am Responsible takes its place. You're already trying to be the best that you can, whether it's as a child, spouse, parent, sibling, employee or boss. But the reality is, short of cloning yourself, it's impossible to meet everyone's needs all of the time.
That's about the time the third ball trades places with the last. It's labeled, What About My Life? And that one is the hardest of all because it could make you feel guilty, or selfish, or worse. You might be thinking that you shouldn't have such thoughts when your parents need you at this critical time in their lives.
So be sure to offset that ball with one that is called, My Needs are Important Too. Many people are not good at taking care of themselves - especially women, who are used to meeting everyone's needs but their own. Whether you're a man or a woman, don't forget to take time for yourself! It's not a bad thing to escape for awhile into something fun or calming. Most likely, your parents would rather have you take some time off than snap at them because you're exhausted. They care about your well-being too, and want you happy and healthy. Here are some hints to help you through this phase in your family's life.
- Let everyone who depends on you know what's going on. Explain that for a stated time, you may need to delegate some of your duties or receive additional help. At the least, ask for their understanding.
- Think about taking some family leave time from work during the final week of the move. Being available to help your parents get comfortable in their new place is as important as helping them get out of the old.
- Consider hiring some outside help. There are many reasons for this. All of us have our own unique histories with our parents and buttons get pushed. Your mom could say something that would drive you nuts, whereas someone else wouldn't think twice about it. Objective people are valuable. They can't love your folks the way you do, but they can genuinely care and be of tremendous help. Another important reason to hire extra hands is that it enables you to spend more enjoyable time with your parents - offering emotional support, reminiscing, or just relaxing together. And if you find yourself thinking you can't afford it, don't forget the costs of losing days of work. Senior Transitions NW is available to help, as are other services around town that specialize in helping older people leave a lifelong home.
- If your parents have always been strong and available to you in the past, realize that it's painful to accept that they are aging and need you now. You may find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety or sadness as you come to terms with your parent's mortality. That's a hard one for us all.
Finally, if you feel strongly that your parents need to live elsewhere, but they refuse to even consider a move, please make an extra effort to get support for yourselves. Feeling powerless as you see your mom or dad struggling with physical, psychological or other problems can be painful and devastating to your peace of mind. Talk with friends, a therapist or your spiritual advisors.
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